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Jan. 25th, 2013


I feel like I haven't posted anything meaningful in a while. I blame work.

No, really.

I don't know if I've mentioned here, but my current work situation really blows. Like, remember how I had (literally) three times more work than any of the other native teachers last year? Yeah, it's that all over again. Thankfully it's not quite three times more, but once again, as usual, I have more classes than any of my co-workers, and every time I turn around I'm getting more classes added in to my schedule. I'm now working six days a week, since one of the other teachers here up and left to move to Tokyo (and in return for abandoning her students, she got promoted to Student Care Coordinator - but that's a rant for another day), and some of her classes were pushed onto me as overtime. Then they go and add more kids classes to my schedule. All after I already had more classes than anyone else. And no, nobody else is getting more classes forced onto them. Only me. And every single day, everyone else will have at least one hour - usually more - where they have nothing to do, except me. I don't get a break. I don't even have enough time to eat while at work.

My motto the past few months has been "I don't want to be justified in my anger." Meaning, as much as I don't like my tendency to flip out over nothing, I've come to think it's preferable to having a legitimate reason for being so pissed off all the time. However, in this case, I am justified.

Two of the other native teachers here, of their own accord, have gone to personnel and told them what's being done to me is bullshit. I didn't ask them to, I haven't even complained openly to anyone, but they saw it, and stood up on my behalf, because even they see that this is a really shitty thing to do to someone. It's not just me overreacting; other people are seeing it.

Last week the staff informed me that I would have to do some special lessons this week, and the other night one of the other teachers messaged me saying he would do them for me. And he did, and I'm extremely grateful that for once someone was willing to step up for me.

I keep telling myself things will get better. I can only hope so.

So that's the work front.

On the social front, I amazingly had a friend visit me. It was odd, because this friend has straight up said she wouldn't ever come here (she lives in Tokyo). This friend has traveled all over the fucking world to attend seiyuu events, but absolutely refused to visit a friend just a few cities away. And yes, I have visited her in the past, in Japan as well as when we both lived in California. So when she out of the blue wrote me saying "I need to visit you," I have to admit, I was suspicious. We had a lovely, fun day-and-a-half of hanging out, of course, but I can't help but wonder at the sudden change of heart.

As for games, a co-worker gave me an extra copy of 'Dragon Quest IX', and I've been playing that almost every moment I'm not at work. It's rather fun, and I especially like that the characters are my own created characters. As usual, I become addicted to anything I can customize.

In story news, I posted all of 'Between the Two' over at, so if anyone was actually reading it, it's there. I don't know if I'll finish posting it here as well. It seems a bit pointless now, and is a bit more work. I think aside from short side-stories, I'll probably just post everything over there from now on, and link it here.

Which, with that said, I've also posted the first part of the thing I wrote for NaNoWriMo there as well. It's pretty much totally un-beta'ed, as I'm really no good at self-editing, and decent betas don't exist. But... There it is. (And I usually update on Tuesdays, my only day off, for anyone who wants to follow it for some odd reason...)

Over the holiday, I was grabbed by several side-story ideas. I started writing one in one notebook, but didn't take that notebook with me to Kyoto. In Kyoto, while waiting for the bus, I started working on another story on the iPad, but am currently a little bit stuck with that, and only seem to work on it when I have absolutely nothing else to do. Then, a few weeks ago, when I was going out to eat I figured I'd do some writing on the other story I'd started, but when I got to the restaurant I realized I'd brought the wrong notebook. .>_> So I started a new one in the notebook I had with me. ... In conclusion, I'm currently working on three short stories at the same time. I hate when I do that.

And finally, on the dolly front, I'm enjoying the new boy very much. I know I've been sharing pics of him on Facebook and Tumblr, but since I haven't introduced him here, I will. So...

Meet Clay!

Yes, he's that Clay, and no, I don't currently have any plans to get a Nicholai. (But if something perfect is released.............)

Clay's head is a smidgen too big for his shorty short body, which kind of suits him, and I'm absolutely in love with him. Totally enthralled. I want to spoil the bejeezus out of him.

And in dolly story news... I've been in absolutely no mood to take any photostory pictures for months now.

I blame work.

I have no reason to use this icon, but I'm going to anyway.

Edit- Ooooooooooh~ I just realized it's Tachi's birthday. Six years! Happy Birthday, Lovie. ♥

Oct. 16th, 2012


Often, especially lately, it's assumed that I'm a college student here. Which, given my advanced age, is rather flattering. Ya know, if I'd gone to college right after high school like a normal person, I'd still have graduated (at the B.A. level) over 10 years ago. So while I always feel old, as I am always older than everyone I know and everyone I meet, having people ask "What school do you go to?" "What are you majoring in?" "You go to Utsunomiya University, right?" feels kind of good.

But today's assumption, after telling the little old man that I wasn't actually a student, was "But you're from Russia, right?"


WTF? Where does Russia come from? I assure you, there is nothing outwardly Russian about me.

Now, a few things.

1. When I think about it, someone assuming I'm a student after seeing me at a restaurant might almost make sense. Whenever I go out to eat, I spend the time hunched over a notebook, going over "notes" (actually, I'm writing porn).

2. I wonder if the Russian thing was because of my jacket. I call it my Marching Band Leader jacket, but someone could possibly draw other conclusions.

3. It still doesn't beat the time, while I was wearing my Daisya cosplay at AX one year, I had some Mexican guy come running after me, yelling "Are you French!?"

Just... WTF?

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Oct. 7th, 2012


Well, I finally got my internet back. And all it took was the retarded solution of unplugging then plugging-back-in the box. How utterly stupid that something so simple could cause so many problems.

Oh, and I got hot water back too, after losing that for a somewhat gross couple of days. That was a more involved process to get restored, making me go to several different places and calling people and throwing things.

I have had a really, really rough past few weeks.

But I used my internetless/showerless days for good. I became an expert at freecell, took a bunch of lovely photos, read an entire book, and finished this story.

I need a vacation.

Sep. 28th, 2012

I have no subject.

I must be in a really good mood if I can lose my internet... again... and simply think "Huh. Guess that`ll get me to work on those photos." Usually it`s cause for rage rage rage.

Or perhaps I`ve just finally reached my maximum capacity for stress, and can no longer feel anything at all.

So I`m sitting in an internet cafe, and it feels a bit nostalgic, like back when I was only ever visiting Japan on vacation and had to rely on net cafes. Only it`s better, because when my time is up here, I`ll go home, not to a hotel. But I`ll still be in Japan when I`m home.


Sep. 23rd, 2012

So very special.

♥ ♥ ♥

I have the very best, most wonderful, special Grandmother in the world.

She's going to pay for Kurama's surgery.

I told her she doesn't have to, that I can put the money together myself in a few months. From the beginning I've said I'll bear all puppy-related expenses, and I will, but Grandma doesn't want to wait to get the surgery done, so she said she'll use some money that she's had squirreled away, and I can pay her back. And I will. Probably with interest, if she'll accept it.

It's that Kurama has some abscesses in her teeth, and some teeth are loose. She hasn't been eating much, and the vet said the teeth have to come out. But the surgery could cost up to $1500, and as I've rather recently said, I don't have that much money laying around. But the suggestion that she might have to get put to sleep really hurt me. Why should she have to lose her life just because she has bad teeth? The rest of her is relatively healthy.

But it'll get taken care of, so I'm relieved. Though I don't like my Grandmother using her own money, even if she'll get paid back. I'm pissed at the vet's office for not allowing payment plans, as though they're more concerned about the money than the animals. But if my pup can feel better, I'll get over it.

I realize, of course, that Kurama is nearing the end of her life anyway. She's over 11 years old, so if she passes away simply from old age in the next year or so, I wouldn't be surprised. But I feel she should be allowed to live out her full lifespan happily, not killed off because of bad teeth.


The surgery is on Monday, and I'll be a wreck until it's done and I know she's ok.


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Aug. 17th, 2012

How I spent my birthday.

This past Tuesday was my birthday, and it was.... Eeh....

Well, just read.

With pictures, of course. )

Jun. 19th, 2012

I feel like I'm finally, officially done with that place.

And here is the last story to take place at the old apartment. I feel like it's the final closure of a very short era.

And it reminded me that I don't think I ever posted the tour video of that place. Not that it's at all exciting.

But anyway. Dollies.

Apr. 6th, 2012


I've managed to move into my new place in Utsunomiya, but it was with a HUGE deal of difficulty. Because my life is full of special and bullshit. And I won't get into details, because that would take about 178 pages of bitchery, but let's just say I almost ended up with all my shit tossed onto the street. But through the power of super nice people (link because it's that same person) putting themselves out for me even though they totally didn't have to, I got moved.

Then slept on the floor for two days, because no bedding.

And now I'm in Tokyo for a while, for new job training. They've put me up in a tiny, dirty little guest house, where the other patrons come in and out at all hours of the night. Somehow, I've learned to sleep through it. And while working in downtown Shinjuku makes me go through this shit twice a day, it's also pretty exciting.

The training will be for another week yet, and today I discovered I was picked as one of the two teachers who will be teaching a brand new class the school is offering this year. (I say "picked" like I'm awesome or something, but actually it was probably a really random selection. It's not like they know anything about me as a teacher, since I haven't even started with them yet. They just needed two native teachers to be "guinea pigs" for this new thing, and... my life is full of special.) So next week I have to go through some extra training.

And, yes, I get paid for all this time. ~FTW~

Anyway. I'll talk more about the training later, probably, but really do want to keep this post brief.

Because the real most important part is~~~~~ this!
Which I actually did a few weeks ago, but my internet was being stupid at the time and wouldn't let me upload. Then I almost forgot about it.

But there. Enjoy. ;P

Mar. 24th, 2012

possibly retarded

Ok, this is going to sound a bit ridiculous, but... I miss my boys.

If you're wondering where they went, the answer is nowhere. They're here, in the loft, where they always are. Except that I'm only in the loft when I'm sleeping. I don't want to keep them down here, in the main room, because there's too much light. At least in the loft it's a little bit darker. So that's where they stay, and I only ever see them right before going to bed and right after I get up, or when I'm playing with them.

But for the past three months, I've been too busy to play with them. Or if I'm not busy, I'm too depressed, and don't want to do anything. Any photostories I've worked on have been with the pictures I took over winter vacation, in December. There's no time to do anything, and since they stay upstairs I don't even get to look at them.

So... I miss them.

Poor Rook was in pieces for five months. I took him apart to spray him with some UV-protectant, and it took five months to get it done. I finally got him back together. I took some time last week to change their clothes (so I could pack up their stuff), and they were covered in dust. I felt so bad.

But hopefully soon we'll have more time together. Tomorrow I'll take some pictures (to do a 'moving again' story...) and spend some quality time. .... And then I may as well go ahead and pack them up in their boxes... But after we move, and after I start my new job, things will get back on track. I'll take them exploring our new home, and take lots of pictures, and crank out more stories. I'd like that.

Until then, I have Meili sitting here with me now, looking as unenthusiastic as ever. .^^; But I really love him!

Also, I think I'm a little bit high right now. I found a little white pill, and I ate it.
(To be clear, it was a leftover codine or whatever from when I busted my knee, and I took it because DOOM CRAMPS were rearing their heads and I'm not in the mood for that.)

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Feb. 28th, 2012

Pencil it in.

I actually can't remember the last time I got to sleep in. I only get two Saturdays off a month, and it seems for the past few months I've spent each of those running around here and there, to a job interview or some other appointment. It's tough only having two days a month to get shit done, since everything is closed on Sundays.

And of course, on Sunday mornings I have to get up early to watch Kamen Rider. .... Yes, I have to.
Actually, I have considered skipping it and sleeping in some Sunday, but I know (and I know because I've tried it already) that I'll wake up by 8:35, and be pissed off that I missed the show by only a few minutes, and won't have all that much extra sleep in return.

But, according to my day planner, I should be able to schedule an appointment with sleep on Saturday, March 10th. I will wear earplugs, so that the shrieking dog across the street can't interrupt, and will leave the heater on, so that I stay toasty and warm. It will be glorious.

However, as that is a certain someone's birthday, I fully expect to be woken even earlier than usual to tiny tappings and demands for presents.


Jan. 20th, 2012


Because I know my opinion on things is so important, here are my humble thoughts on SOPA.

I'm against it.

Thank you.

No, wait. What I mean is, I'm against handing the potential to censor the internet over to big Hollywood business or the MPAA or RIAA or whatever. Isn't the very thought of handing over free speech to the whims of companies/associations who sue wedding photographers and parents over the background music in home videos terrifying? And even though I'm not living in America anymore, all my web hosting is still there. Should I have to worry about having all my doll photos and web pages, stuff I've been working on for almost six years now, being deleted in a second because one photo has a copyrighted anime poster in the background? I show a picture of a doll watching a movie, and suddenly everything is gone?

Fuck that noise.

And some people want to say "That's not what its intention is," but there's absolutely nothing stopping it from becoming that way, because those people are stupid, selfish, greedy bastards.

I'm not against it because I looooooove downloading stuff for free. Now, don't get me wrong, I do love downloading stuff for free, but if there were an effective, safe way to prevent pirating, and I found I could no longer download stuff, it wouldn't be the end of the world for me. I'd accept it, no problem. Actually, I'd still be able to watch everything I watch, on TV or from the local video rental store. But I think that the industries pushing SOPA and PIPA are downright retarded for trying to appeal to people by saying pirating costs hard-working Americans jobs.

While browsing online news articles, I came across a comment that summed up my thoughts about it perfectly, and more clearly than I ever could:

"These bills were not well researched as to potential impact. They will have to go back to the drawing board with a realistic plan to protect copyrighted material. One thing revealed in the process is how Hollywood is slowing catching on that no one feels sorry for overpaid actors, producers, and corporate bigwigs. Thus, Hollywood justified their need for protection from piracy based on the meager salaries paid to support staff 'without whom these movies would not be possible'. If the powerbrokers in Hollywood gave a damn about their support staff, they would pay them better. That would, however require a more level pay scale, and the funds to do it would come from the top tier earners. If everyone on the payroll is critical to the success of these movies, why is there a 1000-fold differential in pay scale? Are some people greedy? Me thinks so. Hollywood needs to clean up their own act and we need legislation that has a chance of reducing piracy without compromising security or futzing around with the architecture of the internet."

Emphasis mine.

In other words, maybe instead of paying Brad Pitt $6 million for a movie, pay him only $3 million, which is still far more than most of us will ever see in our lives, and pay those little guys who are soooo affected by pirating a little more.

I don't think SOPA or PIPA will pass. Not now. For the first time, the netizens of America showed that they can fight in the political arena. It's not just the big net names like Google and Facebook that did it – the first attention-grabbing news was the mass exodus out of GoDaddy. The cyber nerds showed what they can and will do; the MPAA will see too.

Actually, I think it's all very exciting. I think now is a very exciting time to be alive.


Jan. 1st, 2012

2012, start!

I don't actually feel like writing much, but here's the requisite Happy New Year!! post.

2011 was crazy, with a new job in a new city, new students, new, uh.... bike. A lovely new doll, and new dollie friends.
I survived the largest earthquake in centuries, and the subsequent nuclear disaster. And I've seen many things I've never seen before, and visited many places I'd never set foot before.

I've seen so much!

So, for 2012, I want to see much more. I resolve to go to at least one place I've never been to before (my current location doesn't count ;P ), even if it's very far, or very close.



Dec. 28th, 2011

with my camera in hand

Note: don't kidnap Gü. He doesn't like it.

I now have 5 1/2 stories worth of photos taken. (A 1/2 because I had spent so much time taking pictures today that I didn't eat, and by 5pm I was starving, headachy, and out of daylight anyway, so I stopped suddenly. Unfortunately, since I'll be on the go for the next few days, I don't know when I'll be able to finish it...) It's nice to get a little ahead while I can. Once I get back to work, I'll only be able to take pics every other weekend again, so I'm glad to have enough to last for a while.

And let me tell you, things will be getting exciting. ;P

Tomorrow I'll go to Comiket. And perhaps this year I'll actually wake up on time. .^^;
The PoT doujin circles will be there, as will the KR stuff, so probably I'll spend too much money.

Then on Friday I'll head off to Hokkaido! =D So excited! I even bought new, extra warm gloves.

And finally, randomly, because it amused me... I took a picture of B standing next to me, so we can all laugh at how short I am. Or how tall he is. Or something. ;P

Dec. 21st, 2011


Sometimes... more often than I`d like to admit... I get extremely paranoid that everyone is mad at me. It can go on for days, with me feeling like no matter what, people are pissed at something I did, or am doing.



Dec. 20th, 2011

For now through January-

To do

Today: work, write letters, put earrings in peroxide to soak
Tomorrow: work, English Department dinner, clean earrings
Thursday: work, buy hair dye, dye hair, put in earrings
Friday: see Kamen Rider movie... again, work on story?
24th - 28th: be as lazy as possible, sleep in all the time, take doll pics, try to do some cleaning... maybe
29th: Comiket, pack for Hokkaido (including T&Q)
30th - 2nd: leave for Hokkaido, be in Hokkaido, take dolls in Hokkaido pics, come home from Hokkaido
3rd - 4th: sleep all the time, unpack from Hokkaido
5th: work
6th: work
7th - 8th: bum around, do whatever
9th: buy hair dye, dye hair back to normal color (or shave head...)*
10th~: back to work

*if hair coloring comes out really... I think I`ll get in trouble for it, move dyeing back to 3rd or 4th. if more subtle, can probably wait until the 9th. if really subtle, maybe don`t dye back at all?

As you can see, I`m very busy.

Final edit: My hair didn`t turn out too outrageous, so I didn`t dye it back. .^^

Dec. 7th, 2011

Even more experiences.

I've mentioned before that the secondary school I work at is attached to an affiliated high school. Well, last week the principal of the high school died, after suffering from pancreatic cancer for some months. Of course it's sad, but actually I've never met him, and don't even know what he looked like outside of the photo of him in their school brochure. So I can only wonder how the high school's staff and students feel. I wonder if they'll replace him right away, or go through a mourning period. I wonder about a lot of things.

All teachers, from both schools, are required to go to the funeral tomorrow. And I don't want to say I'm excited about it or looking forward to it, since there's no way that can sound any way other than callous and disrespectful, but... As someone who has spent a great deal of time and energy studying this culture, this is quite a rare and unexpected opportunity. Up until now, I've never even thought about getting to see a Japanese funeral, much less that I'd get to see one so soon after moving here.

Just like how I never thought I'd get to see Japan suffer and overcome a great tragedy, like the March earthquake.

I feel like this year has lasted forever.

I've seen so much.

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Oct. 4th, 2011

My strange life.

Nope, nothing normal here.

In (large) pictures. )

I'm sure this will all stop and my life will be boring again soon. Right?

Aug. 22nd, 2011

back into the fray

Sort of...

I`m back to work after my short summer vacation. Which isn`t a bad thing. I spent the past two weeks almost literally doing nothing but watching Kamen Rider Den-O and eating. .>_> I know I`ve gained weight (why is it so easy!?! .-_- ), and quite frankly, I was getting bored.

Not that being here is exciting by any means.

What pisses me off most is that the very day I have to start riding my bike to work again, it starts pouring rain. .-_- So I get to spend all day damp. And while the rain did cool the temperatures down a little bit... it was only a little bit. So I`m also dirty and sweaty. And damp. And my raincoat becomes something like a sauna when I wear it.

And for some reason, nobody has said a single word to me yet today.

Though summer vacation for the students ends this week, there are ceremonies and festivals and tests coming up. I don`t even know when classes start again. I have nothing to do, really. I have all the lesson plans I want to do done, though I guess I could spend a few minutes making copies of worksheets. That`s always fun.

But first, coffee.

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Jul. 31st, 2011

A go go!

Got my ticket. Got my money. Looking adorable. I think I'm ready to go.

In a few minutes, I'll be OFF! to see HyouteiMyu. =D

One thing I can say for sure, this one won't be like first season's. I realized they now have Taki in the cast, which they didn't before, so there's no way it can be the same.


I just hope this doesn't mean we won't see Hiyoshi at all until the very end.

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Jul. 25th, 2011


My brain is absolutely fried. I`ve done none of the work I set out to do today. I can`t think or concentrate. I just want to sleep.

On Friday night my apartment was infiltrated by a large cockroach. Gave me a bit of a scare when it ran right under my feet. I was able to catch it, arbitrarily named it Joe, then took it outside and let it go.

Yesterday I went to my first doll event in Japan. I left my apartment at 7:15 in the morning, and didn`t get home until 9:30 at night. Of course, it was well worth it.

I didn`t have anyone to go with initially, but someone from the big doll message board said she was going too, so we met up and spent the whole day together. .... And I never got her name. And this is why I think that social interaction in the era of the internet is amazing.

I went to the event hoping to be able to pick something appropriate up for Meili, since as of right now he`ll be naked when he gets here, but I couldn`t find anything I liked. I did get a cute shirt for Antonio, though, but since he`s currently in pieces I haven`t gotten to see him in it yet. And I got a little something for Günter that`ll be a secret until it`s shown in the story.
I saw a cute shirt that I thought about getting for B, until I realized it was the exact same as the one I got for Tony, but, you know... bigger... and I thought it`d make them look even more gay for each other than they already do, so passed on it.

When I got to my station and stepped off the train last night, there was a big cockroach waiting for me on the platform. I think it was Joe, making sure I got home ok.

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