Dream to Remember

I feel like I`ve been broken up with, but still have to work with the ex.


There is a HUGE elephant in this room.

But I guess none of that matters, because I've just been informed the school doesn't want me anymore. That is, they've decided I'm "not a good fit" for them.

I have until the end of March to find a new job, or it's back to America for me.








Where I'll probably just kill myself or something.

It puts me in such a difficult situation.

The school wants me to do so much with the English club. Like... everything. The club members have dwindled down to one student, and I get the impression they want me to take up the slack. And while there are supposed to be three teachers working with the club, there's not. It's just me. Which you would think wouldn't be a problem, what with only one member, but I have not a single idea what kind of club stuff we can... you know... ...... do. Maybe if someone with more experience would stop by every now and then and toss us some ideas. But no, it's just me.

Just me to handle the English newspaper, help write a newsletter, plan and throw a party every two months, update the website, give our one member something to do, etc. All on top of my sixteen classes a week, and now making (writing, typing, recording, creating CDs for) four tests. So I want to dart out of there as soon as I can, when I can, but...

It's difficult, because that one club member will come to me and give her cute smile and ask what we're doing today, and I hate hate hate having to be like "Well I'm getting the fuck outta here! =D " Even if I sneak out without seeing her, I feel like I'm letting her down somehow. And I can't or don't want to have to try and explain that I'm being used way beyond what I'm being paid to do, and that it's not her fault I don't want to be there, but she's the one who has to lose out on fun club time.

Meh.

It's not that I don't like the school or the job - I still love it all very much. But I am burned. the fuck. out.

Because I know my opinion on things is so important, here are my humble thoughts on SOPA.


I'm against it.



Thank you.




No, wait. What I mean is, I'm against handing the potential to censor the internet over to big Hollywood business or the MPAA or RIAA or whatever. Isn't the very thought of handing over free speech to the whims of companies/associations who sue wedding photographers and parents over the background music in home videos terrifying? And even though I'm not living in America anymore, all my web hosting is still there. Should I have to worry about having all my doll photos and web pages, stuff I've been working on for almost six years now, being deleted in a second because one photo has a copyrighted anime poster in the background? I show a picture of a doll watching a movie, and suddenly everything is gone?

Fuck that noise.

And some people want to say "That's not what its intention is," but there's absolutely nothing stopping it from becoming that way, because those people are stupid, selfish, greedy bastards.


I'm not against it because I looooooove downloading stuff for free. Now, don't get me wrong, I do love downloading stuff for free, but if there were an effective, safe way to prevent pirating, and I found I could no longer download stuff, it wouldn't be the end of the world for me. I'd accept it, no problem. Actually, I'd still be able to watch everything I watch, on TV or from the local video rental store. But I think that the industries pushing SOPA and PIPA are downright retarded for trying to appeal to people by saying pirating costs hard-working Americans jobs.

While browsing online news articles, I came across a comment that summed up my thoughts about it perfectly, and more clearly than I ever could:

"These bills were not well researched as to potential impact. They will have to go back to the drawing board with a realistic plan to protect copyrighted material. One thing revealed in the process is how Hollywood is slowing catching on that no one feels sorry for overpaid actors, producers, and corporate bigwigs. Thus, Hollywood justified their need for protection from piracy based on the meager salaries paid to support staff 'without whom these movies would not be possible'. If the powerbrokers in Hollywood gave a damn about their support staff, they would pay them better. That would, however require a more level pay scale, and the funds to do it would come from the top tier earners. If everyone on the payroll is critical to the success of these movies, why is there a 1000-fold differential in pay scale? Are some people greedy? Me thinks so. Hollywood needs to clean up their own act and we need legislation that has a chance of reducing piracy without compromising security or futzing around with the architecture of the internet."

Emphasis mine.

In other words, maybe instead of paying Brad Pitt $6 million for a movie, pay him only $3 million, which is still far more than most of us will ever see in our lives, and pay those little guys who are soooo affected by pirating a little more.


I don't think SOPA or PIPA will pass. Not now. For the first time, the netizens of America showed that they can fight in the political arena. It's not just the big net names like Google and Facebook that did it – the first attention-grabbing news was the mass exodus out of GoDaddy. The cyber nerds showed what they can and will do; the MPAA will see too.


Actually, I think it's all very exciting. I think now is a very exciting time to be alive.

I think Meili has a crush on Antonio.

.^^;

Whew... Finally finished taking the pictures for that story. In all, 227 photos were taken for it. When I finish sorting, the actual story should be about 28 pictures long. That was a lot of work!

But, it'll probably be one of the most important stories in a while.


I am now six stories ahead in photos. And the one after the one just finished could possibly be done tonight, if I get ambitious. Oh, and if I make T&Q's trip to Hokkaido into a story, there's that too. ;P

I'm being productive! Dollie stories きたぁぁぁぁぁ!

Me today: "Why am I watching this, I hate this fucking serie- Renji!"

I don't actually feel like writing much, but here's the requisite Happy New Year!! post.

2011 was crazy, with a new job in a new city, new students, new, uh.... bike. A lovely new doll, and new dollie friends.
I survived the largest earthquake in centuries, and the subsequent nuclear disaster. And I've seen many things I've never seen before, and visited many places I'd never set foot before.

I've seen so much!

So, for 2012, I want to see much more. I resolve to go to at least one place I've never been to before (my current location doesn't count ;P ), even if it's very far, or very close.


そして、あけましておめでとう!

There should be a rule against bringing fucking suitcases to Comiket. If you crazy bitches are buying so much porn you can't carry it all like a normal person, you need to get mental help or something. Damn.


But aside from that, I think Comiket was a success. .^_^ I got (almost?) all caught up on my D-1 TAT doujinshi collection (and had the books sold to me by a super hot Tezuka cosplayer.. .@_@ ), and started working on collecting Kamen Rider doujin. .^^ I even managed to find some Kintaros x Ryuutaros books! =D They're so super cute. XD

But I'd only made it through about half of the Eiji/Ankh stuff before I said "Woah, I need to stop." I could feel a mad money-spending frenzy coming on, and had to not let that happen. After all, I'm going to Hokkaido tomorrow. .^^

But everything I did pick up looks to be cute and/or sexy. I look forward to reading them when I get back. .^__^


Oh, this song reminded me! I also got the MOST ADORABLE EVER felt Renji... thing. XD It kills me with adorable. I'll take a picture of it later so you can all die from it too. ;P

Note: don't kidnap Gü. He doesn't like it.


I now have 5 1/2 stories worth of photos taken. (A 1/2 because I had spent so much time taking pictures today that I didn't eat, and by 5pm I was starving, headachy, and out of daylight anyway, so I stopped suddenly. Unfortunately, since I'll be on the go for the next few days, I don't know when I'll be able to finish it...) It's nice to get a little ahead while I can. Once I get back to work, I'll only be able to take pics every other weekend again, so I'm glad to have enough to last for a while.

And let me tell you, things will be getting exciting. ;P


Tomorrow I'll go to Comiket. And perhaps this year I'll actually wake up on time. .^^;
The PoT doujin circles will be there, as will the KR stuff, so probably I'll spend too much money.

Then on Friday I'll head off to Hokkaido! =D So excited! I even bought new, extra warm gloves.


And finally, randomly, because it amused me... I took a picture of B standing next to me, so we can all laugh at how short I am. Or how tall he is. Or something. ;P

Somehow I find this freakishly adorable.

I'm getting really sick of hearing that "All I Want For Christmas Is You" song.





























































But Antonio won't stop singing it.

So some time ago I made an offhand comment that "Maybe if [Animate] carried Kamen Rider stuff I'd spend more money there." I was mostly joking at the time, but I stopped by the store today and, lo and behold, on the very first shelf I look at they have Kamen Rider stuff. .^^;;

Is Animate reading my journal!?


Also, and more importantly...



Is it wrong that I ship them? They're not even human!

But... they're so cute. ::wibble::

Sometimes... more often than I`d like to admit... I get extremely paranoid that everyone is mad at me. It can go on for days, with me feeling like no matter what, people are pissed at something I did, or am doing.

.;_;

To do

Today: work, write letters, put earrings in peroxide to soak
Tomorrow: work, English Department dinner, clean earrings
Thursday: work, buy hair dye, dye hair, put in earrings
Friday: see Kamen Rider movie... again, work on story?
24th - 28th: be as lazy as possible, sleep in all the time, take doll pics, try to do some cleaning... maybe
29th: Comiket, pack for Hokkaido (including T&Q)
30th - 2nd: leave for Hokkaido, be in Hokkaido, take dolls in Hokkaido pics, come home from Hokkaido
3rd - 4th: sleep all the time, unpack from Hokkaido
5th: work
6th: work
7th - 8th: bum around, do whatever
9th: buy hair dye, dye hair back to normal color (or shave head...)*
10th~: back to work


*if hair coloring comes out really... I think I`ll get in trouble for it, move dyeing back to 3rd or 4th. if more subtle, can probably wait until the 9th. if really subtle, maybe don`t dye back at all?



As you can see, I`m very busy.


Final edit: My hair didn`t turn out too outrageous, so I didn`t dye it back. .^^

There, new story.
Where we learn a little bit more about an obnoxious pony.

Also, said obnoxious pony would only stand properly for one picture. Not ironically, it was the kicking one. He is only happy when he can kick.

The brat.

My life would be so much easier if any one single fucking person would ever fucking listen to any god damn thing I say, ever.

I've mentioned before that the secondary school I work at is attached to an affiliated high school. Well, last week the principal of the high school died, after suffering from pancreatic cancer for some months. Of course it's sad, but actually I've never met him, and don't even know what he looked like outside of the photo of him in their school brochure. So I can only wonder how the high school's staff and students feel. I wonder if they'll replace him right away, or go through a mourning period. I wonder about a lot of things.

All teachers, from both schools, are required to go to the funeral tomorrow. And I don't want to say I'm excited about it or looking forward to it, since there's no way that can sound any way other than callous and disrespectful, but... As someone who has spent a great deal of time and energy studying this culture, this is quite a rare and unexpected opportunity. Up until now, I've never even thought about getting to see a Japanese funeral, much less that I'd get to see one so soon after moving here.

Just like how I never thought I'd get to see Japan suffer and overcome a great tragedy, like the March earthquake.


I feel like this year has lasted forever.



I've seen so much.

\(^o^)/


So-and-so is actually kind of happy. Like a boy with a new puppy.

Why is it every time I go to a doll event, Antonio ends up with new clothes?

At least it was just a shirt this time. A really... really expensive shirt... But it looks so good on him.



edit -
Oh gods, I've finally figured out what text to put on this icon. .>_>